Hammer-fighting is a surprise last-minute 2012 Olympic sport
The London 2012 organising committee has made a last-minute addition to this summer’s Olympic event line-up; professional hammer-fighting. In what will be seen as a surprising and possibly controversial move, London 2012 has made the decision “because we feel like it” and “to liven things up.”
There will be two hammer-fighting events at the Olympics; a knockout competition and a mass-hammer fight. The knockout competition will feature the 32 best hammer-fighters in the world. The mass-hammer fight will consist of 200 men in an arena fighting until 199 of them are clinically dead.
There will be no women’s events this year and several women’s group have passed on the opportunity to criticise this exclusion, with one spokesperson saying, “Hammer-fighting? Really?”
Firenado spoke with hammer-fighting enthusiast Al Withington to find out a bit more about the sport. “I’m very excited about the prospect of watching Olympic hammer-fighting. The sport is long been overdue this recognition.” So what does a hammer-fight consist of? “Well typically, two men face each other, with hammers, and they fight until one falls down, drops his hammer or is otherwise incapacitated (dead).” So what kinds of hammers are used? “All kinds really, though generally, the longer the hammer the better. Lead hammers are the most popular – more reach you see.”
Al continued, “The hammer consists of two parts; the head and handle…” Al proceeded to talk all things hammerish for 137 more minutes. Our Firenado reporter was too terrified to interrupt a man clearly obsessed by hammers, within close reach of a number of hammers.
Britain’s Johnny ‘The Hammer’ Harrison is the favourite to win the gold medal in the knock-out competition. Firenado spoke to Johnny and asked him what the inclusion of hammer-fighting at the Olympics meant to him, “It means a lot. I love the Olympics and I love hitting other men with my hammer. It will be the highlight of my professional career.”
Not far behind Harrison is French hammerer Marcel ‘Two Hammers’ Pelletier and Santos ‘Skull-Hammerer’ Mendez. Both hammerers will be hoping for a place on the podium and an intact skull. It is unknown if the current world champion Mike ‘Hammered’ Tompkins will be competing in London 2012 because of an injury. The injury was as a result of being hit with a hammer.
Juan Corruptio, head of the International Olympic Association, said while he was surprised at London 2012’s choice, he hoped it would form part of a successful Olympic experience.
A spokesperson for London 2012 said, “Hammer-fighting is an important part of leaving a legacy for the people of Britain and part of that legacy will be lots of hammers for everyone.”
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