May 172013

Harry ‘The Mad Butcher’ Perkins, made a surprise pick for his last meal – a Pot Noodle.

Prison authorities refused to be drawn into speculation on what flavour of Pot Noodle the Mad Butcher chose. However rumours have circulated that it was curry flavoured. A spokesman for the prison did confirm that no hot water was allowed with the pot noodle as it presented ‘a serious potential security threat.’ The Mad Butcher was shouting obscenities about being denied the hot water with the Pot Noodle as he was forced into the electric chair.

“I’m allowed hot f****** coffee! It doesn’t make any c****** sense! It’s not a f***** Pot Noodle without c***** hot water!” said Perkins, before adding, “Sorry for all the f****** butchering.”

His wife, Suzan Perkins, said ‘He’s such a card! A Pot Noodle! For his last meal! He’s always had a brilliant sense of humour!’

The Pot Noodle was consumed shortly before he was executed last night in Texas.

One witness said, “You could detect the aroma of Pot Noodle even amongst the smell of burnt flesh and fried excrement.

An aide of the governor of Texas issued a statement; “Will you please stop calling our office about the bloody Pot Noodle! It is not that big of a deal!”

His lawyer said, “He died as he lived – with the taste of Pot Noodle in his mouth.”

 Friday May 17, 2013  Posted by at 3:34 pm Crime  Add comments

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