Aug 192013
 
Lady Justice

In what crime scientists are describing as a ‘surprising move’, some criminal scumbags are to face having their names legally changed to ‘Arsehole’.

Motorists who don’t indicate at roundabouts, motorists who lecture cyclists incorrectly on the rules of the road, cyclists that don’t have lights or bankers who commit any crime, are all know by decent people everywhere as ‘the worst scum of the universe’, and face this novel sanction under the new proposals.

A spokesperson for the Department of Justice said, “If these plans are adopted, anyone found guilty of certain specific crimes will have their name changed to Arsehole and will have to have it on their passport, driving licence and any and all official documents.”

As well as acting as a deterrent, the changes will that mean everyone will know who these scumbags and arseholes really are.

It has been revealed more serious crimes, such as murder, will not be included because a change of name for the offender won’t really make anyone involved feel any better.

If successful, the changes will be in place by 2015. Further plans may include expanding the range of terms that criminals can have their name changed to, to include ‘Complete Arsehole’, ‘Supreme Bellend’ and ‘A Real Piece of Shit.’

 Monday August 19, 2013  Posted by at 9:13 pm Story 2  Add comments

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