Millions face working for years longer under new government proposals to increase the retirement age beyond the age at which most people die.
George Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer said, “In order for Britain to be able to have an affordable pension system, the answer is clear; Work till you die, peasant scum.”
Ministers have defended the move, saying it is simply not possible when life expectancy has risen to afford increased pension costs as well as having low tax-rates for the mega rich. “Something’s gotta give.” Said one minister, “So get back to fucking work!”
When questioned on the effects for those working in rigorous manual occupations, George Osborne said, “Know your place scum!”
A Liberal Democrat spokesperson said, “It’s important that we blame Labour for everything and that we al remember that Nick Clegg really, really likes being Deputy Prime Minister.”
Government sources seemed confident that they would win the argument with the public. “If all else fails, I guess We’ll just blame it on Romanian immigrants.”