May 142013

John Turin died in an extremely embarrassing manner and his family are finding it difficult to cope with this fact. Amidst their terrible loss is the uncertainty of how to deal with the comic circumstances surrounding John’s death.

Due to events that are not entirely clear, a grand piano fell 30,000 feet from the cargo bay of a 747. Mr. Turin was hiking in the Lake District and was urinating by a stone wall when the piano struck him. His body was found by his fellow hikers with the piano on his torso, his pants around his ankles and bottom in the air, surrounded by sheep.

One of his friends, who wished to remain anonymous said, “We heard one almighty crash and we all dropped to the ground. After a few seconds, we all ran over and saw that someone had been hit by a piano. Where the torso should have been there was just a smashed piano. We were all completely shocked and then realised some legs were sticking out with a bare bum at the top. There was a final clang from the piano, followed by a sheep sniffing the bum before going ‘baa’.

“Someone said ‘It’s John’ and then after a pause, we all started laughing. We became hysterical. We were all laughing, rolling around on the floor for ages. It sounds terrible, but it was so funny – at the time.”

No-one from John’s family wished to speak to Firenado, but a friend of-the family, revealed that they are both terribly sad and appallingly embarrassed in equal measure.

To prevent any laughter at the funeral, John’s mangled remains will be fully displayed on the top of the coffin – sans piano. His family are confident that all attending will be deeply traumatised.

 Tuesday May 14, 2013  Posted by at 11:28 am Life  Add comments

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