Apr 252012
 

A poll of people who daydream about becoming a benign dictator has revealed that the very first thing most would do if their wish was realised would be to ban the use of the non-word ‘learnings.’

Gary Spudow from Colchester spoke to Firenado, “As benign dictator there are many things that I would like to do but the very first thing would be to ban the word ‘learnings.’ ”

Michelle from Manchester said, “The word ‘learnings’ makes me so angry – too angry! And I don’t know why! Lessons! The word is lessons! Why not just try and replace the world ;table’! For crying out loud!”

Learnings has risen in usage in recent years for no good reason whatsoever. Leading Scientist Tom Hulitzer said “I think the only explanation for the rising usage of ‘learnings’ can be that is evil is real, it wants to destroy mankind and has started in its dispicable plans with the destruction of the English language.”

So what would be done with people who use the word ‘learnings’ in these benign dictatorships? “I would throw a dictionary at their heads.” said Michelle, while Gary told Firenado, “I’d have an actual grammar police and they would have big fucking truncheons.”

 Wednesday April 25, 2012  Posted by at 12:52 pm Madness Tagged with: , , ,  Add comments

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