Aug 282013
A picture of some money on a financial newspaper.

The poor people of Britain have said, as one, that they are very sorry for causing the economic crisis, that they won’t do it again and so can they please, please stop being punished for their irresponsible actions that led to the recession/depression/never-ending-economic-hell.

“I am not sure what it is that I did.” said a disabled mother-of-three. “But I am very sorry.” She continued, “But I really like the home I have lived in for the last 30 years. Please don’t evict me.”

A unemployed 17-year-old said, “Yeah, sorry for whatever it is that I did when I was 12 but I won’t do it again. Can I have a job now? And a future? Please?”

Since the economic crisis of 2008, governments in Britain and through out Europe and North America have made it quite clear that the poorest people in society will not get away with their irresponsible actions, whatever they were, that led to the economic crisis. Funding for benefits, schools and hospitals have all received massive cuts with more on the way.

One massive banker, Johnny Bastard, spoke to Firenado, “These last few years have been hell. With me continuing to be fabulously rich through the massive bonuses – I still receive – I don’t how I’ve managed to survive. Wait a minute, yes I do know, it’s because I’ve got loads of money.” Johnny Bastard then laughed out loud for the next 34 minutes.

After Johnny Bastard recovered, he told Firenado, “It’s quite clear that the unemployed, disabled and everyone who is not rich, are to blame for the recession – why else would they be the ones paying it through massive spending cuts and wage freezes? HAHAHAHAHA…” Johnny Bastard then laughed for the next 52 minutes before a private ambulance made of gold arrived to take him away.

Firenado asked a spokesperson for the British government, would did they say to the charge that perhaps it was the deregulation of the financial sectors combined with irresponsible banking practises that led to the economic crisis and furthermore, shouldn’t the small section of the society, the very rich, that have benefited most, both before and after the economic crisis, have to pay for it through modest tax increases?

The answer was unequivocal, “Shut up you communist scumbag and probable terrorist.”

NEXT WEEK: Even poorer people from the developing word say: “Then what the hell did we do to be treated like this?”

 Wednesday August 28, 2013  Posted by at 12:55 am Main Story  Add comments

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